Fighting laziness is hard. Fighting social anxiety is hard. Fighting fear is hard. The truth is that if you want to do something but are crippled by fear, you will end up passing up on different opportunities and wasting incredible occasions to meet people.
I know this because I am stuck, more often than I would like. I limit myself. I care too much. I have only recently started going to tennis lessons that I have been meaning to go to for months, I was just too scared to go alone. Other people's judgement can be terrifying. After finally going thanks to a friend who came with me, I realised that I would have been just fine had I gone alone. I understood that some of the people I met I would have never even thought of engaging with in other situations and that in the end, pushing myself was nothing but rewarding.
It is a sad thing how much of our lives we unknowingly let others control, especially when the "others" do not care. Worst case scenario of trying something new on your own: you are mocked. Words can hurt more than actions, yet who cares what people think about you!? Strangers do not bring anything valuable to your life, so why should you, why do you let them have so much influence on what you do? I say this because I am the first one who suffers from that, from the fear of the other's gaze. Constantly reminding me that what does matter is how I impact those I care about is a struggle, but I am confident that I will end up living by this philosophy.
I hate that I care but I do. I want to learn to let go of that huge insecurity, because it is the consequence of a lack of self-confidence. As I waited for a friend in a café today, I hated the thought that people might think I was alone. What is so bad about being alone though? As far as I can remember, I have always given too much thought into the other's perception of me. My image matters. Maybe I am always afraid of being judged because I know that I judge others too. I am guilty of assuming things about people based on what they look like and if we are all honest, most of us are.
Yet, even if I do judge, I try not to. I want to think great things about those around me, so more often than not I compliment people in my mind. That reminds me that if I do that, maybe others do too.
The point I am slowly making is that limiting yourself because of a fear you have is letting a little part of your life escape and narrowing the realms of possibilities concerning great encounters, incredible memories and enlightening lessons.
I do not want to care as much as I do. By writing that, I already feel like I have let go of some of my fear. Little by little, I will gather the strength to live by my own terms. I will stop giving too much importance to my appearance and I will work towards being more open-minded.
I hope to encourage others to face their fears, insecurities and even their flaws. Life is about growing as a person and reflecting on the kind of person you want to be. I will finish this article by a very eye-opening quote which struck me, I hope to live by it.
“The only time you look in your neighbour's bowl is to make sure that they have enough. You don't look in your neighbour's bowl to see if you have as much as them.” Louis C.K
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