Freedom of Speech

As I am typing, twelve men are being mourned in France by families, colleagues and everyday citizens. This morning, a shooting took place in Paris, in the offices of Charlie Hebdo, a French magazine. Why? Because their specialty is satire and the cartoonists there had recently -well, in 2006- mocked the prophet Mohammad. My feelings after hearing of this terrorist act were so strong that the only way for me to react was to write about it. 

Unfair, cruel, savage, barbaric, vile, heart wrenching... so many words to describe it all. Too many words to describe it all. Is there such a thing as too much freedom of speech? I believe there is, when it comes to hating on people for their differences. Other than that, developed countries are supposed to let and fight for people to be able to express themselves, it is the foundation of a true democracy.

Yet, here we are. Afraid. What has happened to "I do not agree with what you are saying, but I will fight for you to have the right to say such things" ? Has it been transformed to "I shall stay quiet and suffer in silence whilst I am slowly giving my rights up"? Freedom of speech is a human right which everyone deserves, as long as it does not involve hating on the other. No matter how much I might disagree with someone, we are all entitled to our own thoughts, opinions and ideas. The second we will not be, George Orwell's 1984 will become reality and the world as we know it will be transformed into a huge brainwashing factory. 

As I have written in previous articles, I am naive. I see the good in people. So here I am, hoping that there will be more people ready to speak up, ready to fight for rights that are so vital to a democratic country . The men who shot twelve people with so little emotions will only be fought and condemned through resistance and education. They are terrorists, after that word, no religion matters. All should unite to end such horrendous acts and show that fear will not overtake a whole country, continent or planet.

Let's not give up on our rights, but instead, let's educate each other, let's preach tolerance and let's, sometimes, agree to disagree. If you cannot answer an argument with something other than violence, you are not standing up for anything. I will therefore use my own freedom of speech to send this message, but also to send my love to all who were affected by these events and to support them.

Being Misunderstood

I have not written anything meaningful these past few months. Now that I am sad, though, I feel inspired. Is being hurt good for creativity? Why do we need to suffer in order to create the best work of our lives? Why is it that some of the most artistically creative art pieces ever unveiled were created under the influence of some sort of substance, no matter which? Or... is it all a myth?

I believe art comes to life when no amount of human interaction can make an individual feel like they conveyed the message they wanted to in the first place. We are all misunderstood at some point everyday, hence the being hurt part and the need to evacuate these painful feelings. Unhappiness, sorrow and grief are topics impossible to exhaust. That will stay a fact until break-up songs, romantic landscape paintings and poems about impossible love stop being composed. My point being that the natural human way to deal with overwhelming emotions is to let them out through creating. We are better at what we do, when there is a goal, objective, target or what ever word you use to qualify that singular feeling of having to tell the world who we are. We, as our conscience develops, long to be discovered and valued for everything that we are, and maybe not just what we show. 

As thousands of thoughts rush through our heads, we only have one goal, to find the lost serenity we had not long ago. Maybe, when we go through difficult times, we become a despondent version of what could be thought of as our "normal self". 

When I asked a friend what his biggest fear was, he answered "being misunderstood". The possibility that who we really are might never be known to someone other than ourselves is scary, and there is no denying that. We keep making lists of misunderstood or depressed artists who are now considered geniuses. Aren't we all geniuses in our own minds though?

Having established that, in my opinion, being misunderstood leads to creativity but also pain, the most tormented souls seek for a remedy which often becomes alcohol or drugs. I believe that being desperate to show our hearts and not our minds helps us do beautiful things, because we are looking to outdo ourselves. Whereas if everything goes our way, we do not have the same intensity in our creations as we do not feel the need to be understood. After all, let's not forget that perfection comes at a price and Mozart, Chopin and Schubert were all thought to be suffering from depression.  However, feeling lonely with no one else sharing our view of the world is no excuse for any sort of  extremely deviant behaviour, as living to the maximum of life's potential through celebrating every aspect of it is way more important than suffering in silence. We do not choose mental illnesses, but for the rest of us who are lucky enough to be free from their random grasp, we can choose to let go of tears and be thankful for what we do have. And quite frankly, we should. 

Why we should forgive

To some people, forgiving is a form of weakness. They believe it is the equivalence of stating " I agree with what you did" or "It's okay, mistreat me again" or even "Ultimately, you're right". Whereas I do not think of it that way. I used to though, for a long time. 

To me, forgiving meant putting my guard down and showing vulnerability that the other would take advantage of. So I never did it. The word "sorry" only came out of my mouth when my parents asked for me to say it, and my friends had never heard it even though I hurt them.

As I grew up I became more self-conscious, felt awkward, and started apologising too often when I did nothing wrong. So, as soon as someone would apologise to me, I would forgive them. I was happy someone considered me enough to think that my apology mattered, and so I gave it. That was not the way to go either. 

My favourite definition of forgiving someone is that "it consists not in agreeing with what one has done, but in accepting that they are not the mistake they made". So if someone has wronged you, forgive them. Be clear about it though, tell them that you see them for more than what they have done but that once is a mistake and twice is a choice.

I am not saying everyone should forgive everyone, sometimes it actually is best not to forgive. Yet "sometimes" is not "most times" and forgiving should not only be seen as a mean to reconcile, but also as a tool to free ourselves. What it does mean, is letting go of a grudge, that poisons your brain with unnecessary and violent thoughts. It means it will allow you to move on.

Once you have forgiven, you owe nothing to the person you forgave. You do not need to speak to that person ever again, or have any exchange of any kind. Your relationship does not have to go back to the way it was. In that way, forgiving has actually nothing to do with weakness.

On the contrary, it has to do with having the strength to go up to someone, look them in the eyes and tell them you are accepting their apology, so that you can move on with your life instead of getting stuck on something negative. Now, that is why we should forgive. 

What hides behind violence

What hides behind violence is anger. The anger of not being understood, of not being fulfilled... or is it the anger of being challenged?

Either way, violence always does more damage than good. Is it inevitable? Yes. Is it necessary? No. Resorting to hurting any opponent in order to get a message come across is weak.

Violence is, in my eyes, a synonym to weakness. When people start acting in aggressive manners, it's only because they have no arguments left in their cause, and instead of finding new ones, and fight in a respectable manner, they flee and hurt the ones around. Whilst anger, hatred and helplessness are understandable emotions they should however never excuse an act with the purpose of destroying someone whether it is mentally or physically.

Still, I have found believing that people can be good is the start to a happy life for us, and a better life for everyone.

Indeed, showing people that we care is key. Helping, even the ones who never dare to ask, is a step towards ending violence. Being misunderstood is frustrating, let's start being open-minded. Such a behavior can only lead to greatness, and self-fulfillment. So let's learn to exist, cohabit, communicate, exchange so we can live the way we should, breaking down violence to make it weaker than it already is and eventually making our Earth happier one person at a time.

It is true that this is a very optimistic outlook on life, but what else have we got? I am young, and I have energy, which is why I will use my energy to once again believe, with my core, that we can all change the situation around us, if only we started to care.

Why write ?

Writing has been an art for centuries, and there's a good reason for that. Isn't mastering communication, story-telling and audience captivation a talent not everyone has, and therefore worth acknowledging ? However, nowadays it does seem like writing is seen as quite unfashionable. But if some people still do it as a hobby, then it must not be that insignificant. There has to be some sort of good that comes from writing. 

So I decided I'd write about my experience with the art of dominating words and what writing brings me, maybe because I'm narcissistic or just maybe because I secretly wish everyone had a passion for writing, for expressing themselves through an art that is attainable only with work and reflection. 

When I was 10, I saw a notebook with two puppies on the cover, needless to say I fell in love with it instantly. I had never owned such a grown up possession, and felt quite important. It made me realise that if I wanted to honor this notebook, I'd have to write something interesting, something worth keeping. This is how I decided I'd start a diary, the first one of many. There's a chance that I considered my life as of high importance in this infinite Earth. So I started writing, very irregularly, but I still did it. Kept my word.  It took  a few years, but eventually there was no sheet left for me to blacken with ink. And that, is what I consider as my first achievement. Writing, on my own, with my little arms and shaky handwriting, not until I couldn't think of anything, but until I had no space left. 

From there, grew my love of words. Aren't they beautiful ? From the shape of the letters to their arrangement just like music, it was something I considered supreme, that teachers and clever people knew how to use. Eventually, I also ended up realising that it felt incredible to be able to concentrate on a white rectangular surface, and lay down my troubles, loves, and fights with my best friends. It was maybe better than a therapy, except I was not mature enough to realise it. All I knew was that I liked writing, and it felt good. 

Along the way to my adolescence, I ended up writing only when I felt the need to tell someone how I was. To me, my diary was better than a friend, since it would never betray me, it was better than my family, since it would not judge me, it was better than anyone, because it listened without stopping me. It let me put it all out there, until I had no more ink in my pen or strength in my hand.

Writing, in general, was my answer to difficult situations. An answer. These are rare in our society. Hence came the fact that I decided to protect my answer, the only tangible one I had to every challenge encountered. This is how writing became a part of me, it did not matter if I kept it hidden.

Moreover not only did this teach me that writing was good to heal the wounds of the soul, but without knowing it, I was preparing myself for the future. Writing allowed me to expand my vocabulary, to learn how to use words the correct way, to leave an impact on the teachers' mind. It helped me get the good grades I have today and what's so extraordinary is that I only have myself to thank, and that's a big change from what I'm used to. 

So, why write? Write because it feels good, write because it allows you to see yourself from the outside. When you read something you wrote, you sometimes forget that you're the origin, author, creator of what was nothing. You understand yourself. Write because it's good for you. It's good for your soul yes, but for your memory and for your abilities to persuade in the future too. Write because it's the simplest form of art, and yet, it is so complex. Write because you can. 

Some people have never learnt to read or write, they have never had an education and since you have, take advantage of that. Write to honor those who wish they could, write for yourself.

Writing can never be a waste of time. It will help you develop your very own perspective on life. It helps you see clearer in this giant mess of a planet with multiple systems failing one after the other. 

It's the answer. So try it. 

Overcoming Death

This is a very deep topic that I have decided to write about tonight. Death is scary, it's overwhelming but what it is, I think we can all agree, is very hard to overcome. When someone we know and even love dies, we feel disoriented, as if an apocalypse happened without anyone from the outside world noticing but you.

Every time someone whom I cherished died, it felt like no one understood my pain, not even my family. They were sad and hurt, but they didn't feel my pain. I thought they could not understand how it affected me, how my view of life changed. I was being selfish.

The Truth is that we all have different ways to deal with the crude reality of Death. Mourning is a difficult period of time for any individual, because it involves understanding the entity of our loss but also agreeing to let go of what we once had. Someone who does not cry isn't less saddened by one's death than his drenched neighbour, he just doesn't feel it is relevant to express his emotions through tears.

It is purely personal, but for me, the first step to overcoming the tragedy that is a person's death is understanding others who also have lost this person, followed by sharing. For shy people, it is very difficult and therefore they should not feel forced into doing so but if you can, do it. Share with as many people as you can the bond you built with the deceased, this will remind you that a person's legacy is alive as long as there are people to talk about it. So be the one who keeps this person alive.

Then, comes agreeing to accept the idea that what is done is done. Regret is also very common at funerals: People apologise and talk about how they wished that they had acted differently, and inside of us we all feel the same way. We replay moments in our heads, when we wished we didn't make a certain mistake or didn't argue with that person, so what we have to do is tell ourselves that there is no need to be riddled with guilt. Both of you contributed to building the other and that is where the focus should be.

Finally, the last cobblestone on the path of recovering from someone's passing, is actually to understand that there will never be a full recovery. It is inevitable, the scar will always be open inside of you, no matter if you want it or not. The best thing to do is to accept and come to terms with the fact that you are now missing something, but that each challenge you face molds you into who you are. Even though someone might be gone, you are not, so keep them in your hearts, share them with the people around you and be grateful for the times you had with them.
Only time can soothe such a scar, do not try to eliminate the pain. Try to turn it into something good.

Parents: are they always there for us?

Let me be blunt. To answer the question that is my title, I will use two letters: NO. Parents will not always be there for us simply because they can't. The probability that they outlive us is fairly small. 

As children, teenagers and adults, there always comes a time when we face problems of our own. The most protective parents will try to smooth those, but the more we grow up, the more they let us take the fall.

Which is good. A parent's goal is to ensure that their kids will grow up to be self sufficient, and for that to happen, we need to know that life can kick us in the face. When a parent knows for sure their offspring will be able to pay for themselves, have a partner or a good quality of life, they can burst from being so proud of achieving one of their life-long tasks.

So if you are hiding something from your parents, if you are afraid to tell them something or if you do not feel like your relationship with them is working, be blunt. Honesty gets you pretty much everywhere, secrecy doesn't. Chances are, they will still do their absolute best to accept, understand and get you the help or whatever it is you need. So here is my word to the kids out there having troubles communicating with those strange individuals that are parents: stop whining and start acting. 

For those who are in situations which are slightly different such as foster care or parents who left them: Keep in mind it is your choice to choose who is in your life. If you can count on someone, keep them close to you, if they don't bring you anything good, find a way to get them out.

After all, bonds made with the heart matter more than blood, and this is coming from a person who would do anything for her sister. Parents cannot always help you and erase the bad memories to replace them with good ones. What is the meaning of life, you ask? Finding people who fulfill you, nurture you as a person, help you grow, evolve, develop and who have your back no matter what. They are the people you need to concentrate on. Everything else is not relevant.